


Parallel

by orphan_account



Category: Naruto
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Growing Up, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Canonical Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-16
Updated: 2014-12-16
Packaged: 2018-02-27 17:52:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2701946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From the beginning they'd been opposites. Really, not that much had changed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Parallel

**Author's Note:**

> tw for blood, injury, implied death and suicide (both are canon tho)

Gai had never liked to believe in coincidence. From the moment he first saw Kakashi he didn't want to have to imagine a world where they didn't meet. He took a guess and called it fate and tried to keep their bond strong, keeping Kakashi at his side with challenges and games, not wanting to lose whatever it was that they had.

It was obvious that Kakashi was just humoring Gai for the most of it but the fact that he hadn't ditched him yet must have meant that he found some sort of value in the kid, right? Gai would keep that in mind as he knocked on his rival's window for the 28th time, beaming down at him before introducing their next challenge. He adored Kakashi in the way that rivals do, always striving to better himself in order to face him head on in the next challenge. It was difficult going up against a born genius, but Gai would just have to work that much harder. After all, this is what he was meant to do. 

How could he have seen it any other way? 

* * *

Kakashi had never liked to believe in fate. From the moment he saw his father lying on the floor he wanted to feel as if this wasn't somehow his fault. He couldn't imagine this to be the only way things had to go and chalked it up to coincidence, not wanting to believe this to be all there was.

He could feel people pull away as they heard what happened, partially from being at a loss as what to say, partially from fear of the unknown. He looked in the mirror and saw his father and swore never to pull his mask down again. When he was out running errands Gai popped up at his side once again and he still pushed him away, believing his words to be nothing more than an act of pity. He missed the dejected look, how Gai dragged his feet, the fact that he was so obviously doing this because he cared about Kakashi and instead only saw how Gai retreated to Dai's side, the two of them walking off. Together. He could feel his heart twinge and knew that Gai would never have any understanding of what he was going through. Back in his house, he turned on the light. There was one less room in the building now, if you asked him.

How could he have seen it any other way?

* * *

Years passed.

Kakashi came home one day missing both an eye and a teammate. He covered up his face and closed himself off from the world, shutting Gai out along with everyone he knew, pouring himself into his training as a way to dull the pain. He had to master the sharingan if it was the last thing that he did--it was the last gift Obito was able to give him and he knew that he couldn't let that go to waste. That was how Gai found him one day, collapsed and panting in a field. The scar on his eye was enflamed and the skin bruised from the exertion, but Gai didn't take him to a hospital. Instead, he sat down next to Kakashi and broke into one of the packs of food they were required to carry with them, handing half of them over to Kakashi before digging into his own share.

Kakashi looked at the pellets in his hand before choking one of them down. He felt a comfortable weight settle into his stomach as he swallowed and stole a glance to look at Gai. He was uncharacteristically quiet, not quite looking at Kakashi but obviously curious as to what he was doing all the way out here. He was the only one who had even bothered to check in on Kakashi after all that had happened to him, and Kakashi felt it was time to repay him, if only a little.

"...Do you want to see it?"

Gai choked a little on the food, coughing up the invasive pieces as he nodded vigorously. Kakashi pulled his mask down to under his nose and untied his headband, letting the cloth fall to the ground. Ignoring the twinge of pain, he opened his eye to look at Gai. He could see the breath catch in Gai's throat in his now unparalleled vision and watched a flush tint the boy's cheeks, nearly betraying his own stone cold guise.

Gai didn't ask questions. Kakashi was glad. Instead, the two just sat there, Gai taking in Kakashi's face and Kakashi observing the minute differences in Gai's behaviors, trying to discern his thoughts. It ended up being too much and he pulled the mask back up and tied the headband back over his eye, breaking the spell that had been cast over the field. 

The two switched back to their normal personalities soon enough, Gai pushing Kakashi and Kakashi all too slightly evading his grasp, though this time there was something different. An underlying calm that hadn't been there before, lulling the two boys into thinking that it would all end up okay.

These were the moments that Kakashi didn't want to believe were coincidence. 

* * *

Months passed.

Gai came home one day an orphan. A casualty of the world that they lived in. No one had accepted his father, not even after he died. Gai would tell people how his father was a hero, how he really was strong, how he wouldn't be there today if Dai hadn't sacrificed himself for him, but no one would listen. No one but Kakashi. Sakumo had been one of the very few in the village to accept his father when he was still alive and Kakashi had begun to see the truth in that. 

Gai didn't know what he wanted. It wasn't as if he was that close with anyone besides Kakashi, and he'd begun to doubt that the other even liked him and that he might just be putting up with him to have something to do. The challenges became fewer and fewer until they trickled out completely and Kakashi found himself looking up at Gai's apartment, a rickety old thing on the outskirts of town. There was one less presence filling out the place, nowadays.

_"If you keep him in your memories, he'll never truly be gone."_

Those words swirled through Gai's mind over and over again, suffocating him. Those words that had hung heavy as lead over the funeral. Those words that people he had considered to be his "friends" kept delivering like robots, along with a pat on the back and an empty promise of help. He shoved a pillow to his head to try and block out the thoughts, but without background noise to drown them out they only got louder.

He couldn't take it any more. 

He screamed. Punched the mirror. Shattered it to bits. The blood streamed down his arm and he still didn't feel a bit better.

Kakashi leaped through the window just as the tears began to fall and he caught Gai from collapsing, pulling him over to the edge of the bathtub to sit him down. As a taijutsu specialist you had to keep a well stocked first aid cabinet, and Kakashi had figured his way around Gai's from cleaning up many a challenge. He pulled the bandages out and turned back to Gai, who had his head resting on his clean hand. 

Kakashi had no idea what to say. Unraveling the bandages he knelt in front of Gai, taking his hand and winding the fabric round and round with practiced skill. The gentle swooshing of the fabric mixed with Gai's muffled sobs, creating a soft background to the scene and making it all the more shocking when Gai began to speak.

"I can't remember him, Kakashi."

The bandage around Gai's hand suddenly went lax as Kakashi looked up at him in surprise.

"How can I keep him alive in my thoughts if I can't remember what he looks like?"

Kakashi pulled Gai's face down to his shoulder. He could feel the boy's tears soak into his shirt, but he didn't mind. He knew how Gai felt.

"It's okay."

He thought of all the times he had hid in the trees to capture Dai's taijutsu, hoping to get a glimpse at one of the few people that could truly be called a master of the art. He had captured so much with his sharingan and replayed one of the memories in his head, able to see every last detail in perfect clarity, even down to the grin across Dai's face as he had locked eyes with Kakashi, mischievous eyes glinting as he added on an extra spin just for show.

"I can remember him for the both of us."

Gai didn't know what to believe anymore.

* * *

They both stumbled into their teenage years blinded by loss, both that which they have experienced and that which they have given. Gai kept trying to keep them close together, knowing that by this point in time they were each leaning on the other for support and that if one was removed the other would crumble, that no matter how tough Kakashi tried to act, it was naught but a front.

Unfortunately not everyone understood like he did.

"They WHAT???"

"They put me in ANBU, Gai."

Gai was flabbergasted. He knew Kakashi. He knew Kakashi better than anyone in the world and he knew that this wasn't who Kakashi was. He wasn't ANBU. He couldn't be. He wouldn't allow it.

"I'm coming with you."

It was Kakashi's turn to be surprised.

"What? No!"

Gai grabbed the collar of Kakashi's shirt and pulled him up, using the few inches of height he still had on him as an advantage. "They don't know you, Kakashi! You aren't ANBU! You can't go out there alone. They'll break you and then what will you do??? You CAN'T go!!!"

Kakashi casually reached up and placed a hand over Gai's, feeling the tremors coming from the other man.

"Gai."

Kakashi stared directly into Gai's eyes, trying to keep his voice steady. This is what he had to do.

"Let me go."

 Gai's grip suddenly dropped in surprise, leaving Kakashi to stumble back, coughing a bit. He looked up at Gai and saw the hurt in the other's eyes, but also something indescribably cold, sending shivers down his spine.

".....Who _are_ you?"

* * *

Kakashi had been gone for months. Gai himself had sunk into the routine of mission after mission, day after day, not really having anything to break up the monotony of life.

Until one day.

Nothing really felt different as Gai switched the lights on in the rickety old apartment. As per usual he dug through the fridge, trying to find something close to expiration so that he wouldn't end up wasting too much. Shopping was at least a half day excursion, and he just didn't have the time for anything like that at the moment. He switched the stove on under a pot of water and turned to start chopping up vegetables, before he heard an unfamiliar creak behind him.

He whirled around and drove the knife an inch into the wall right next to the intruder's face who, surprisingly, didn't seemed fazed. He couldn't quite tell however, as any expression they might have been making was covered by a mask.

"Who are you?" Gai snarled, wrenching the knife free from the plaster and pressing it into the other's neck, close enough to almost break the skin. They reached up and pulled the mask from their face, revealing a shock of silver hair. 

"...Kakashi?"

Gai dropped the knife as the smell of copper hit his nose. He took in the shallow breathing and the pained look in the other's visible eye, and quick as the lightning Kakashi was known for they burst into the bathroom, Gai a whirlwind as he tried to suss out what he needed to patch up. Kakashi leaned against the tile wall, trying the best he could to apply pressure where he knew it was needed. The flow of blood slowed to a trickle.

Gai rushed over and shoved a washcloth into Kakashi's mouth. "Bite down on that." Before Kakashi could object, Gai started stitching up his wounds. He screamed through the cloth and was suddenly glad that Gai had the forethought to give it to him, as he would have easily bitten through his tongue otherwise.

It was about half an hour before they were all done. Gai passed Kakashi a glass of water and some painkillers and slumped down on the floor next to the other boy. 

Kakashi looked at the new stitches on his ribs and then back at Gai, who had changed into a tank top sometime during the confusion. Or maybe he was just wearing it the whole time. Kakashi wasn't quite sure. But all the same he could see the scars that riddled the other's body, curving around and contouring his back. Kakashi knew he should consider himself lucky to know enough long-range attacks to where he would hardly ever need to put himself in danger, but he couldn't help feeling strangely jealous, as Gai's scars seemed to tell a story. One about him proving himself. What did Kakashi have?

Or maybe that was just the pain medication talking already.

He cupped the glass in both hands, wincing as his new stitches pulled a little bit, and glanced around the room. He hadn't been here much recently--too busy off on ANBU missions to visit. Not much had changed. A few things had been added here and there, but it still felt like Gai. 

"You haven't gotten a new mirror?"

Gai glanced at Kakashi and then at the wall. He had pieced back together the shards of broken glass after Kakashi had left that one day. "Yeah, I guess I never got around to buying one. Not really much use, anyways."

"Hm." Kakashi left it at that. 

They sat there for a few minutes before Kakashi struggled to his feet. He tried to find the remains of his shirt when he felt Gai put a hand on his leg. "You aren't in any position to move around, Kakashi." His voice was stern. "Stay here tonight."

Kakashi slowly nodded and Gai started prepping the apartment. He grabbed a couple of extra blankets and pillows and started making a nest on the couch. Kakashi started to sit down when Gai quickly stopped him. "This is where I'm gonna sleep tonight. Take my bed, Kakashi."

Kakashi sputtered. "What? I-I couldn't--"

Gai cut him off. "You need a good night of sleep, and you aren't going to get that on the couch. Go."

He didn't want to argue and besides, he really did need a solid night of rest. Kakashi slid between the covers and closed his eyes. As he was drifting off, he realized one thing.

He didn't need to cover his face around Gai.

Gai woke up the next morning and rushed in to check on Kakashi. The bed was made and Kakashi was nowhere in sight. There was something left at the foot of the bed, however. Gai picked it up.

It was a box with his name on the front. He opened it to find a hand mirror inside. It wasn't anything fancy, just one of those cheap plastic things that you could pick up for under five bucks at the local store, but there was a note attached. Gai unfolded it to find only one word written in a familiar scrawl.

_Thanks._

* * *

They were about to reach twenty and maybe things were going to start making sense again.

Gai walked into the mission one room one day to come face to face with someone familiar. "Kakashi! What are you doing here?"

Kakashi shrugged. "They wanted me here today. Something about a mission with a certain young Jounin." He brandished the scroll at Gai. "And I guess I just found him."

Gai's smile was blinding. "Race you to the gates, rival?"

There was a barely hidden smirk under Kakashi's mask, and with a nod they were both off. Neither of them had packed anything before, so it was part of the rush to get their things together, knowing through years of practice just what to take with them to avoid unnecessary weight, but not end up shorthanded. Gai leapt from his window, knowing that taking the stairs would add precious seconds onto his time. 

He barreled up to the gates at the same time as Kakashi, both of them nearly running over the other in their race to the finish. A few people glanced their way in confusion, but they were so caught up in the exhilaration of the moment that neither of them payed it any mind. 

It had been almost a year since they'd had any sizable amount of time together, and they were going to make the most of this mission.

As they dashed through the forest, Kakashi laid out the plan. It wasn't a very hard mission-they just had to go recover an item that the client had stolen from them-and would probably have been C level, had it not been for the guards stationed around the object.

It was refreshing for Kakashi, doing something outside ANBU. It was a cold world in there, and he could already feel Gai's natural warmth lifting the chill from his bones. They both exchanged quiet chatter, leaping from branch to branch, each basking in the midday sun and the company of each other.

It was like no time had passed at all.

* * *

...Or maybe more had changed than they thought.

Gai was propped up against a tree, muscles screaming. Kakashi hovered around him, obviously concerned but not quite knowing how to show it. Gai shot him a pained smile. "It's okay, Kakashi. This happens every time."

He shouldn't have had to open the gates at all. They had planned it out perfectly, but one sharingan didn't quite cut it sometimes and they had still managed to be caught off guard by reinforcements arriving at exactly the wrong time and things had taken a turn from good to awful in a split second. This is why Kakashi was glad that Gai was there.

Neither of them had gotten more than a couple of shallow wounds which Kakashi quickly took to patching up, but the exhaustion of the fight is what hurt the most. Gai's muscles still needed time to rest after what he had to put them through and Kakashi's eye felt like it was throbbing in his head, which, combined with chakra exhaustion, nearly put him on his back as well. 

At least they had completed the mission. Kakashi glanced at the bracelet in his hand and shoved it in his pocket, too tired by this point to care for formalities. He leaned against the tree next to Gai, looking only somewhat more alive than his partner.

Gai started laughing. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

Kakashi looked over in confusion. 

"Since you've had to do this for me, I mean."

He was right. Kakashi had been gone for what seemed like ages, and even when he was home, the trials of being in ANBU still hung over his head like a cloud. You could never quite get away from it. It was cold, it was ruthless, and it was calculated. He wasn't able to share any emotions. 

He didn't even know if the people he worked with were human, sometimes.

It was never that way with Gai. Gai was human. Too human maybe at times, but it never bothered Kakashi. Being around him after so long felt like the most natural thing in the world, and he wondered why he had spent so long pushing him away. 

He started laughing too. The whole thing was funny, wasn't it? The two of them, exhausted to the bone, surrounded by blood, and all he could do is reminisce about the past.

Neither of them knew who reached over first. It felt more right than anything ever had; the two of them, fingers intertwined. They laughed themselves to sleep, still leaning up against that tree. Neither of them acknowledged the change between them the next morning, nor any other day for that matter, but something new was definitely there. It was like the missing piece of a puzzle. _As long as they were_ _together_ , everything was going to be alright.

Kakashi turned in his application to transfer to regular Jounin duties the next day.

* * *

Gai didn't like to believe in fate. After seeing Lee lose to Gaara in the Chunin exams, could anyone blame him? He wanted to believe that he was in charge of his own fate and that things like this weren't the only way it had to be. He chalked it up to learning experience and continued to try and better himself and those he loved, dragging them along for the ride. He played by his own rules, now.

Kakashi wanted to believe that some things were meant to be. He thought of where he would have been had Gai not been there to save him from delving any further into ANBU and didn't want to believe that things could have turned out any other way. After all, he was the one person Kakashi felt totally safe around. He couldn't let that go yet.

Kakashi felt a tap on his shoulder. He didn't even have to turn to look. "Hmm, I guess you've found me."

Leaves fell around them and created a soft background to Gai's bright smile. "Kakashi! You up for a challenge today?"

Kakashi chuckled behind his mask. "Maybe in a bit... I was just enjoying the leaves."

"Ah, then let me join you!" Gai plopped down on the ground next to him. Kakashi looked over and noticed something.

"You still have that?"

Gai lifted up the mirror he was holding in his hand and showed it to Kakashi. The cheap plastic was white with age and well worn, carrying scratches all over, but the reflection itself remained surprisingly clear. It was over ten years old now, wasn't it? It seemed less than half that, both in physical form and Kakashi's memory.

"Yeah, I use it sometimes! Did I ever show you my Dynamic Entry?" He posed a little with the mirror, arms flexing. "It's really handy to have around, and I even use it for myself sometimes... oh, but I don't think I ever thanked you properly!"

Kakashi was shocked that Gai would even remember such a small thing-but then again, he was always good at remembering debts he owed to people. "Aah, it's fine, it was only a couple bucks anyways. I didn't even know it would last this long."

Gai pouted. "Still, it's a gift. I gotta do something special!"

They had been together for years now, but neither of them had really made any sort of move on the other. Blood rose to tint Kakashi's cheeks as he quietly pulled his mask down, untying his headband along the way and letting the cloth fall to the grass. "Then how about we call it even?"

He gently pressed their lips together.

* * *

No matter how different they were, neither of them wanted to imagine a world where they hadn't met the other.

After all, how could they see it any other way?

**Author's Note:**

> i am so sorry  
> (im not sorry at all)


End file.
